(06/05/2023) Bài mẫu IELTS Writing Task 2 band 8

Question: Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees do. Some people believe it is necessary, but others think that it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Answer:

Directors of large organizations earning significantly higher salaries than ordinary employees is a topic that elicits differing opinions. While some argue for the necessity of such pay gaps, others perceive them as unfair. This essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my own evaluation, supporting the notion of higher salaries for directors.

On one side of the argument, proponents of salary equality contend that distributing wages evenly is paramount. They argue that substantial disparities can foster feelings of belittlement and injustice among rank-and-file employees, thus disrupting the harmonious working environment. Additionally, they assert that excessive executive pay may lead to conflicts among managers, eroding team spirit and tarnishing the company’s image.

Conversely, there are valid reasons for justifying substantial salaries for directors. Firstly, these higher remunerations can serve as compensation for the immense responsibilities they bear. Directors dedicate significant time, effort, and expertise to managing the company effectively, making challenging decisions, and assuming risks associated with potential consequences. Secondly, generous compensation packages can act as incentives, motivating new employees to work diligently and productively. For instance, many companies offer attractive financial rewards tied to employees’ competence, facilitating their career development.

In conclusion, while both perspectives possess merits, I believe that an equal distribution of salaries among all employees is impractical due to the unique responsibilities and expertise of directors, as well as the need to motivate entry-level workers.

Written by Chi Nguyen

Examiner’s comments:

Task Achievement/Response: 7

  • The response addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the views that directors earning higher salaries is necessary and unfair.
  • The arguments for each viewpoint are clearly presented, highlighting the potential negative effects of salary disparity and providing justifications for higher executive pay.
  • The writer provides their own opinion, supporting the notion of higher salaries for directors and presents a balanced conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: 8

  • The essay is well-structured, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
  • Ideas are logically organized and connected, with effective use of transitions to enhance the flow of the essay.
  • The improved essay maintains coherence and clarity throughout, with improved sentence structures and vocabulary choices.

Lexical Resource: 8

  • A wide range of vocabulary is used effectively, showcasing a strong command of formal and sophisticated language.
  • Terminology related to the topic is used accurately and appropriately.
  • There is skillful use of vocabulary to express ideas and arguments clearly and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8

  • Sentence structures are varied and well-controlled, demonstrating a good grasp of grammatical accuracy.
  • Verb tenses and subject-verb agreement are consistently accurate.
  • Complex sentence structures are used effectively to convey ideas.

Overall: 8.0

Từ vựng tham khảo:

  1. Elicits: Draws out or evokes (meaning: brings about or prompts)
  2. Proponents: Advocates or supporters (meaning: individuals in favor of something)
  3. Disparities: Differences or gaps (meaning: inequalities or variations)
  4. Foster: Encourage or promote (meaning: nurture or facilitate)
  5. Belittlement: Feeling of being diminished or undermined (meaning: reduction in importance or value)
  6. Injustice: Unfairness or inequity (meaning: lack of justice)
  7. Rank-and-file: Ordinary or lower-level employees (meaning: non-managerial or frontline workers)
  8. Harmonious: Peaceful or cohesive (meaning: marked by agreement or compatibility)
  9. Excessive: Unreasonably high or disproportionate (meaning: beyond what is considered normal or acceptable)
  10. Remunerations: Payments or compensations (meaning: salaries or wages)
  11. Bear: Carry or assume (meaning: take on or handle)
  12. Diligently: Carefully and persistently (meaning: with thoroughness and dedication)
  13. Tarnishing: Damaging or staining (meaning: spoiling or negatively affecting)
  14. Impractical: Not feasible or unrealistic (meaning: not workable or achievable)

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